Arthur's English Journal

Little miss sunshine

Little girl: wants to be pretty, wasn’t to be Miss America. Practasis winning. Practises suprise.

Dad:
Dull looking but words he says are deep. Bit chaotic. Be successful

Son: like a man called Neiche who was a famous German philosopher and stays silent for some reason to do with Neiche.

Old man
Smokes weed. Lots of stuff on the wall. Doesn’t look like he has desires. Looks like he is doing it in the little girls room. Little girl could be in the room with him.

Mum: smokes. Family woman. Not glamorous. She seams to want to make her family live well. Cares about all her family.

Bro: suisidel says little. Wants to die

I’m the grandad.
I don’t really understand why they care so much. I mean I know that we’re all family but does family really need to sit round a dinner table. I’ll probably only speek to to Olive and I’m already sitting with her now so what’s the point in me wasting the little engery I have on walking all the way to the dinner table. I’d say Olive is defently the only person who I can really talk to any more. She is just so fearless. It’s probably to do with the fact that she hasn’t seen how shit and painful the world can get. Yeh I’d say it’s that.

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One response to “Little miss sunshine”

  1. jnorth Avatar
    jnorth

    Hello Arthur,

    You have taken on the character of the granddad well. Your mixture of simple and complex sentences helps your piece flow. Well done.

    Targets:
    Be careful with the use of profanity. The sentiment suits your character well but you must be more subtle and crafty with this. A character could be interrupted before the word is said, or they might simply allude to what they’re thinking. Ultimately, be more selective with your vocabulary.

    See me for some help with where to insert your commas.

    Keep it up,

    Mr North

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